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| Photo by Robyn Beattie |
With
gratitude, I find that four years later, my Chariot has changed; I’m no longer
teaching my beloved Transformative Blogging classes but was transformed by teaching
them and brought to a time and place in which I can fully devote my attention
to my Wheel of Archetypal Tarot Writing classes I so love to teach. I offer
this bit of Chariot process writing in hopes that it inspire you to consider
your own Chariot and threshold you long to cross.
If you love writing, and the Tarot, consider joining us
(last weekend to sign up—we start Monday April 11 and have a great class
forming as we speak): Wheel of Archetypal Selves: The Many Faces of Change.
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| Photo by Robyn Beattie |
Paul Fenton Smith writes regarding the Chariot: “You are learning
that courage is a combination of commitment and doubt;” the MotherPeace guide
book addresses the charioteer as: “one who can move out of relationship and
into work.”
In the Rider-Waite-Smith image, I’m attracted to the feminine
male with his orange gold lined long locks of hairs cascading over his
shoulders, each shoulder bearing the blue upturned faces of two crescent
moons—one smiling, one frowning. I’m attracted to his broad chest with its
mesh undergarment covered in some kind of ribbed shield with its glowing square
of light over the heart, center, which an earlier source told me connects him
to the Empress, though its white brings to mind for me more the energy of the
High Priestess. I’m attracted to his stance, his confident posture, a belt askew
nonchalantly across his hips bearing the symbols of astrology, Pisces, the
Moon, Uranus. I like his silvery blue sleeve cuffs for their dramatic flair,
webbed, reminding me of the sea and his star shroud above him and the green
wreathe of leaves, so natural, he wears on top of his star tipped crown. I feel
he is capable, confident, prepared, temporarily resting before the chariot
itself moves out into the streets.
Now compare this charioteer to the Thoth version. I love this
charioteer too, but for opposite reasons. Not a single inch of this
charioteer’s skin is bared—he is entirely sheathed in gold armor, not even his
eyes or lips visible beneath his helmet. So with no human face to connect with,
I am pulled in by the blue orbit of rings behind his chariot, the inescapable
nested ring of red that doubles as a cape and his chamber, the pair of red
wheels and that centrifugal red in his lap, his legs crossed. He is definitely
a step less prepared for motion than his Rider-Waite-Smith twin, for his legs are
folded in front of him in the seat of contemplation. Why the blue and red
spinning disk in his lap? Like the alchemical cup, peered into, is this the chalice
in his lap? Maybe he realizes the gift of incarnation, the birth room
behind him, the lives he might touch represented in the blue and red in his own
cup. I believe he will proceed with care, but he’ll need to take off his mask
before he can see.
When the card fell for me, I felt assured that I was being
given support to move forward in my transition from the home and hearth to the
homes and hearths of others via the quiet venue of teaching women writers on-line.
Multiple avenues and chariots and charioteers exist; time to stop stopping
myself. My husband’s ideas of how I should earn, coupled with my own, may have
hemmed me in to this bronze/gold suit of armor, to wait it out.
I’m living Fenton’s quote, “Courage is a combination of
commitment and doubt,” for as I step out to teach, I find I am making the map
as I go, that making a mask I asked my Transformative Blogging students to make
cracks open hidden territory in my body, making room for more of my soul.
I doubt, I assign, I do the work beside my students and when
the month is done, on my piano sits a silver and blue face with its silver star
at the third eye, welcoming me to keep writing and teaching in the
circumference of the orbit of home, for there are still children to raise,
still a husband to project onto and tease apart what is mine and what is not.
Related link:
Mary Allen writes about her experience of the Chariot card at
Tarot for Two:
New Tarot Tuesday prompts for you:
Podcast: Ren Powell asked me some lovely questions regarding poetry here; discussion includes my growing relationship to writing and Tarot as well:
This Choice, Tania Pryputniewicz
Other podcasts in this series:
This Choice, Molly Gaudry on poetry, "power nouns," "lists," "sonic play," roller derby
Photos by my poetry movie collaborator Robyn Beattie with exception of photo of the cards. Tarot cards pictured are from Thoth, Shadow of Oz, Daughters of Moon, Rider Waite Smith, and Basque Decks.
Other podcasts in this series:
This Choice, Molly Gaudry on poetry, "power nouns," "lists," "sonic play," roller derby
Photos by my poetry movie collaborator Robyn Beattie with exception of photo of the cards. Tarot cards pictured are from Thoth, Shadow of Oz, Daughters of Moon, Rider Waite Smith, and Basque Decks.
